Before our poly relationship, I made a trip up here. When I was 12 or 13, I can’t remember when exactly, I went to Indiana with my family for Thunder over Louisville. I loved it then too. There’s something about Indiana.
Sixteen years later I am now officially a resident of Indiana. I came up here a few months ago to meet Brian and Liz. I talk about it in my other blog poly blog posts. When I would come see them at the beginning of our poly relationship.
Now I don’t even know how many times I have driven here or there. What once felt like a long ass drive is now a drive back home to visit. The drive gets shorter but I always stay too long. Really.. I like it here when I’m not homesick but I have never been this far away from my family. Some days it’s really hard. Typing it is even hard. It makes the knots form in my throat and fighting back the tears gives me a headache.
I didn’t just fall for two people when I came up here. I fell in love with the city too. It’s not really the safest but it’s fucking beautiful. So, when my kids wanted to move here I was all for it.
They had a blast when I would bring them to visit. They even loved Brian and Liz too. So we started planning. I would search for houses and Brian and Liz would go check them out for me. They were more than helpful with it all.
Things between me, Brian, and Liz aren’t what we had planned but they aren’t completely out of my plans yet. They have only ever known love and I don’t know how to love. So when I came up here things got a little rocky. Coming from a town that’s unincorporated and doesn’t have a single red light to here was a little bit of a culture shock.
I didn’t know which way was which and I started to suffocate. I was spread too thin. They weren’t really suffocating me, it was everything. Moving two states away with two kids, trying to make a house a home, still give my kids a fun summer break, and make sure I didn’t neglect our poly relationship.
I was struggling. Constantly forcing myself to smile for my children, and make sure everyone got the attention they deserved. At times I had to fight the urge to cry because I was so homesick. There was too much pressure.
I moved knowing that we would all be closer together but I mainly moved so my children would have a better life. In a town with no red lights there’s not really too much for them to do for fun. Here there is something new everyday.
I don’t know what the future holds for the three of us or if our poly relationship will ever be mended. Only time will tell. Poly relationships aren’t easy and they take a lot of work. A triad is basically four relationships between three people. Seems like a lot when you think about it.
Regardless, I am still happy that I met them. I am happy to say we shared the things we have shared and I learned so much from them. It’s not often you see two people love each other the way that they do. Forever is rare and to them it comes natural.