Polyamorous relationships are still new to a lot of people. Most people outside of the poly community don’t understand what it really means. Like monogamous ones, our polyamorous relationship has boundaries and expectations that partners will stay honest to their commitments.
Every relationship has boundaries. No one said they all have to be the same. It’s just whatever works for you and the ones you love. There’s really no perfect ‘how to’ reference on how to model any relationship.
I don’t think it’s possible to go through life and never feel the slightest bit of jealousy. Even if you’re not a “jealous person” its still bound to happen at some point in your life. Even on some subconscious level.
But what about in a triad poly relationship? Not in the relationship but outside of it. Is that okay? Feels like a contradiction.
Brian and I have called each other out on it twice already. I don’t even remember the topic we were on when it happened but it is a little confusing to me. I mean this is my first poly relationship.
I’ve never thought much about jealousy unless someone was outrageously jealous. I mean come on… in monogamous relationships you sort of expect your partner not to show certain levels of affection to other ppl. Hints the monogamous part, it still astonishes some people. So if someone is getting jealous about their partner’s ‘not so committed actions’ it’s not really a thing you have to stop and question yourself about.
I’m sure someone will read this and say but how can you be jealous when you’re in a poly relationship?
Some people date openly, some people date separately, and some date other people together. Sure that’s true for us too but within the three of us. This triad is also long distance and I can only visit for a limited amount of time when I do go so right now it is mostly the three of us. Once circumstances change we will do more stuff separately.
I just don’t think I could handle adding people into this relationship. Dating others others outside of the three of us seems so different than what we have. Like these are my people, two of my favorite at that, and I don’t want to share. We are human and damn it we feel shit we have no control over. These emotions also feel like I’m contradicting myself. Maybe it only makes sense because Brian has spoken in his ‘not so jealous’ voice a time or two also. So I don’t feel so bad about it when I do it.
Yes our polyamorous relationship is a triad. That doesn’t mean we can’t have boundaries and commitments that we deem suitable for our relationship. Some people can handle open polyamorous and I’m not saying I can’t or that I see anything wrong with it. I’m just saying… My ‘not so jealous’ subconscious feels like it might not be comfortable having that sort of polyamorous relationship.