Poly Trips

This time last week I was getting ready to take my poly trip to meet Brian and LizAll the different emotions I was felling made the drive feel like I was on a rollercoaster the entire way up there. It was my first poly date.

Actually a double first poly date.I was completely frantic. I wasn’t just going on my first poly date with one of them but both. First dates are already intimidating to me and I usually find some way out of them at the last minute. This one was a triple threat to me. I had three first dates. It was my first poly date, my first date with Liz, and my first date with Brian. On top of that I drove three hours up there to meet them so that would have been a long drive just to abort mission and go back home.

I was nervous like I was Fergie going up for my second attempt at singing the national anthem. Just messy. 

This time around is different though. This is the second time I am getting ready to make the drive to them.  But now I am excited and cannot wait to get there. Just thinking about it makes me blush.

I can’t wait to see them in person and spend time with them. To be able to actually touch them and kiss them both.  I love talking everyday but this three-hour drive is not about  go by quick enough for me tomorrow. I will pass the time by listening to poly podcasts again probably.

The plan was originally to surprise Liz by coming up tomorrow but Brian got a little excited and let it slip…within thirty minutes. I couldn’t help but laugh. And make note of the fact that he can’t keep a secret. I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all though.


Echo Dot Kids Edition




Poly Dating

Poly Dating

Poly dating is by far the best dating experience I have ever had. Having such an amazing experience with poly dating is mostly due to how absolutely fucking amazing Brian and Liz both are.

More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory

Both individually and their strengths as a couple with 20 years under them. The two of them have been so understanding and accommodating to me with this being my first poly relationship. It’s not their first experience with poly dating. It is still a learning experience for all three of us to see what works for everyone. Every relationship is different.


Poly dating has been completely different from any relationship or dating experience I have had before. I mean yeah obviously because they were all ‘monogamous’ but for other reasons than just that.

Before my journey started with poly dating I had never thought to stop and read a book on monogamous dating or ask different questions about the other person’s dating expectations before any sort of relationship had even really started. I just kind of went with the flow, almost always choosing what seemed to be the shittiest person that was sort of available, had a little bit of fun and then started the search over again.

But my experience with polyamorous dating has been so different. It has been better than any experience I have ever had and one that is a constant journey full of learning and self enlightenment. The relationships seem more supportive and couple eager to learn together.

 Poly Olive

The poly community has so many people who are willing to take the time to learn about what it really means to be in a polyamorous relationship. People want to learn what works and doesn’t work.  Maybe that’s one reason why my past relationships never worked. So many of them did not know what the term ‘monogamous’ meant…

Poly dating is not a ‘new thing’ but it’s still not perceived in a positive light by a majority of the population. It’s like when Olive first meets Elizabeth and William and she’s reserved at first. Then this happens and she wears that outfit with those accessories. Next thing we know there’s this confident Olive and her polyamorous lovers.

First Impressions

When I first met Liz I was a little sad when she told me she was married. This is only because of the online dating world’s over population in people who are only seeking a threesome. I’m talking about those people that approach you like you are a shelved sex toy waiting to be tossed back and forth between a husband and a wife twice your age. It even took me a few days to reply and actually have a conversation about what she was wanting. To think that I almost missed this chance… wow… let’s not even.

I have talked to both of them everyday since that night and can’t imagine a day without either one of them. I have said it before but these two really are perfect. Not perfect because they are flawless but like they were made to be a set of three and we have all been looking for each other in the wrong people. To meet two people equally intelligent, funny, and sexually adventurous is the most exciting and relaxing feeling I have ever experienced.

Poly Olive

They give me so much to look forward to. I love that both of them are so willing to learn and grow together as this companionship progresses. So many relationships fail because people get stuck in their ways and refuse to make changes that are sometimes necessary in relationships.

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory

To have people who love you in such a beautiful way and also want to help you grow mentally and grow with you is astounding. We are always sharing something with each other that we thought was notable from a book or online article poly dating. That’s one of my favorite things about them.

The past couple days I have had people messaging me about our relationship and saying such positive things. To have a person say our journey has given them hope is inspiring and makes my heart happier than I can put into words.

Lasso of Truth

I am waiting for court to start and I already have a migraine. Truth doesn’t seem to matter to anyone here. The past few months have made me realize how fucked up the corporate world is. It has also made me realize that I hope to avoid ever working for a big corporation again.

You would like to think that the work you do means something, to someone other than yourself. If you put in effort and work hard you would think that you are not the only one that can see value in your work. Well, not only your work but also you as a person.

I mean we work to live. Some live to work. Only some people value the working class as real people though.

Damn it, Karl. Everyone really is expendable.

As I sit here listening to bullshit from the opposing lawyers I can’t help but think about the other night when I went to visit Brian and Liz. I loved being there with them watching Professor Marston and The WonderWomen. Which, by the way is completely fucking amazing movie and a beautiful love story. I highly recommend everyone watching it, especially those in a polyamorous relationship.

My mind keeps going back to Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

I mean how amazing it would be to have the Lasso of Truth for one hour so these dirty suits would be forced to tell the truth. To have to admit that they have done some foul shit.

Who am I kidding though, neither of these things are about to happen, Marxism at its finest.

Via: Movie Quotes



I logged on the other day to write this and first things first, I checked The Daily Prompt. I always check the prompts before blogging to see what the word of the day is and maybe scroll through my social media accounts to see what airdrops and bounty programs are popping off and hopefully dodge all of the bad ones. Who am I kidding though, I get lost in the drops and before I know it three hours have passed and I have entered into ten more bounty programs.

What’s worse than a bad habit? One that fuels itself. Mine is crypto and I am addicted to airdrops, bounty programs, and free cryptocurrency. My friend says I’m in too deep and there’s no chance of getting clean but he created me then left me here to go back to his ex.

Who doesn’t love free money though, am I right or am I right? Ha! And yes, I will post those links with my referral codes on my page. So do me a solid and use them, we will both benefit by getting free tokens.

Anyways, back to the topic. I was already having a difficult enough time with the subject I had originally planned to talk about. I guess because it’s something I feel so strongly about and so traumatized by but outraged at the same time because it is so openly ignored by the masses, by people I thought were friends, and by family I thought I could turn to in my dark times.

People act like it’s a burden to listen, it’s much harder to be the narrator of a story you wished to never write, much less be the victim.

Dominant” was the prompt word, ironic. I say ironic because my initial post was about rape, much easier to type than it is to say. Rape, no one likes to talk about it and no one likes to hear about it. The people who fanaticize about being ‘raped’ don’t even actually want it to happen, they just want to play a role. Kind of like the people who say they will be there for you but are only play a role and after a while they won’t answer because their role doesn’t involve helping their friend who has become a depressed rape victim. Whew, I mean who am I to be such an inconvenience to those who said they would always be there for me. I guess I missed the fine print clause that stated how it was only a role to be played during happy times in one’s life…

My rambling is only avoiding the original topic, a word that my lips still can’t form without the actual word itself shapeshifting before it exits my mouth. It always comes out as ‘he sexually assaulted me’ or ‘that thing he did’.

Now I’m kind of scrambling around, trying to find the right keys to form the words of what was going to be a blog on rape culture, how the justice system fails victims time after time, and my own assault case. See that, it even happens when I type. It is extremely hard trying to make a post out of something I can’t even vocalize and the people closest to me don’t want to hear. It’s not as hard to say it when the word culture follows. I guess it’s because when you say culture it pertains to everyone and not just what happened to you personally.

People act like it’s such a burden to listen, it’s much harder to be the narrator of a story you wished to never be the victim of. Like you could sit there and let me think you’re a good person and the whole time be tuning me out and not even listening. But I cannot escape the nightmares that come every night where it happens over and over.  The nightmares that keep me awake night after night.

He had the angel of death tattooed on his chest. At one point it was no longer him holding me down in the nightmares but the Angel of Death instead, hovering over my body. Both were so real, I hated sleeping. It has been a year and I still hate it.

Rape. It happens to more people than not so why do so many get away with it? It is one of the more traumatizing violent acts that can happen to a person but so many victims are ignored or silenced. We only have our bodies when we come into this world, what happens when that’s taken from us?

You have to punish people for the things they shouldn’t do or there’s no reason for people to stop doing those things. People are more fearful of it happening to them again than rapists are about what will happen when they get caught, if they even get caught.

What chance do you have of getting justice from a system that doesn’t listen to the victim’s pleas for help but instead trades Iraq war stories with the guy that assaulted you. What reason is there in giving the investigator the clothes he cut off of you in your sleep because you had said no two hours before that if they will never even be presented in a courtroom. What is the point in giving the police text messages where the guy from footwear admitted to what he did to you when he cut your clothes off if they never met the tips of a jury member’s hands.

I told him no and he didn’t listen. He said he did it because I didn’t know my place, that I was too strong. He told me he wanted to destroy something beautiful after months of looking me in my eyes and saying that he loved the way my mind worked in such beautiful ways. He didn’t deny what happened, that thing he did to me. He just forgot to include the part where I said no to his requests for sex a couple of hours before because we were then just friends and there to study for exams. He forgot to tell the investigator the part where he laughed after he was done, and the part where he told me to ‘get the fuck over it, that they are just clothes’ as he rolled over and turned his back to me and went to sleep. Rape must take a lot out of a person, he fell asleep fast.

They were not ‘just clothes’.

When he met with the investigator he told Daniel that I was ‘kinky’, which the investigator in turn shared with the DA that was in charge of presenting my case to the Grand Jury for prosecution. The DA said I must have made him think I wanted it to happen, that I must have asked for it in some way because of my ‘kinky’ desires. Silly me, I never knew the word ‘no’ had so many meanings.

Why is the statement of a rapist more valued than evidence from a rape? Why are victims punished and rapists victimized. I still can’t say the actual word and he’s still laughing about it.

This post is not meant to discourage or keep anyone from reaching out for help. It is instead meant to shed light on the cases that go unheard and the ones that are mishandled by the justice system.

There are people who will listen and resources out there that can help you.

National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org)